for the men in my life

Sharing what God lays on my heart.

A Spider’s web

Have you ever been stuck in a spider’s web?  Have you ever felt the stickiness, the entanglement…and the more you try to get out the more stuck you feel.  You want to panic because you begin to feel overwhelmed, trapt, stuck, and hopeless.

Spider web

Spider web (Photo credit: Marcelo Tourne)

Sin can be like a spider’s web.  It can catch you completely off guard.  You can get stuck in way over your head before you even know what is going on.  I can describe this so well because I have been there.  With more than one type of sin.

The sin I want to talk about today comes from manipulation.  Specifically emotional manipulation.  Let me be very clear, it is not good.  Using emotional manipulation does not bring Glory to God.

I know that I am no saint.  I am not going to sit here and write that I have never tried to manipulate someone or some facts.  I will say that I have learned it does not benefit me or the person I was manipulating.  God has helped me and is continuing to help me use honest forms of communication for His glory.

I am still stuck in a spider’s web though.  Its not one I have created, but it is one I have allowed to be created around me.  Lately it seems around every corner God is putting people in my life that have been emotionally manipulating me or verbally jabbing me.  I feel caught in their negative, disgusting, and sinful attitudes.  I have yet to learn how to verbally cut their strings before they attach to me.  I walk away from conversations feeling yucky and emotionally entangled.  I literally want to rip something off of me.   I think about what I could have said and what I should have done to make them stop.

I know, I know…I wrote a post not so long ago about how bold I am and unafraid I am to speak my mind.  Well the truth is…when it comes to people I know, love, or work with, I want to please them, make them proud, or win their approval…I kind of don’t know how to tell them no, or that I disagree, or that I don’t really want to do what they are suggesting.  I am a people pleaser…its my kryptonite.

Back to emotional manipulation…So after talking with a Godly mentor and dear friend who have great boundaries and much more life experience I have learned some new phrases.  I need to learn to use these phrases with love and cut through the spider’s web.

“What did you mean by that?”

“I can’t answer that right now.”

“I am not prepared to have this conversation right now, can I call you tomorrow after I have prayed and thought about it.”

Any version of the above delivered with a smile and sweet tone should surely help me not get entangled, but also not offend the person seeking something from me.

I have been brewing this post for some months now.  This morning I knew it was going to be done steeping.  When I sat down to pray and read my verse for the day I knew God wanted to deal with this topic tonight.

The verse was this…”(from the message) Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.” Galatians 6:10.


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for the men in my life

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