for the men in my life

Sharing what God lays on my heart.


Balance, you know that word.  You’ve heard it, you’ve said it, and you’ve tried to do it.  Balance yourself on one foot, on a balance beam, or if you really like a challenge, a handstand or a headstand…ya know balance.   The tangible concept of balancing mass on an object is easily grasped by almost everyone.  Well as I have found there are several meanings to the word balance.  Some that are interesting and at times very challenging to me.  (I’ll get to that in a bit)

First, I would like to explain why I even started this post.  You see God keeps bringing up this word balance.  He brings it up in almost EVERY aspect, situation, and relationship of my life. He keeps whispering…(There is a balance, find the balance, you need to balance).  Until I looked up the definition for the word balance, I just thought, I need to find how to balance things.  How to even them out. But as I read the varying definitions I am realizing there is so much more.

As I dove deeper into the meaning of this word I have learned that not only is it a noun.  Its also a verb.  It can be used as a verb with or without an object.  I found that very interesting.

First lets talk about balance as a noun.  In the beginning of this balance journey, that made the most sense in my brain.  I needed to find balance in my relationships, my responsibilities, and how I used my time and my talents.

In my relationships I began to realize that I needed to have realistic expectations of others, and the balance was also to not feel pressure to be what others expected me to be.  I also came to realize that my natural desire to have empathy and compassion for others and their situations was being used against me.  That little whisper of God’s truth, “find the balance,”  became louder and louder.  It is good to have compassion and empathy, but the balance is to learn where my personal choice and responsibilities begin and end. I desperately needed to learn that it is not my responsibility to make choices for others.  I can not feel bad or responsible for the consequences that come with the choices they make.  I can share the truth in love, but they still get to choose that which they believe.  I can pray that God will use their circumstances to draw them closer to Him.

Another aspect of balance in relationships was learning that I do not have to invest the same in all people.  This was and is (okay they are all hard for me) extremely difficult for me.  The opposite of this is true as well.  Not everyone will invest the same in me as in others.  This can be hurtful, when you see someone else being loved, encouraged, and cared for the way you desire to be treated by that same person.  All I can say at this time is, only God is truly big enough for you to ask WHY.  And I truly believe that only God can heal the (hopefully) unintentional hurt in your heart.

For me, I am learning that every aspect of all my relationships NEED to be filtered by God.  I can only be who God created me to be.  He will not give me the power to be anyone other than that, it is not His will for my life.

Okay so the definition of the balance…I looked it up on dictionary reference.  There are 29, YES 29 definitions.  I was amazed.  It is a deeply profound word.  I’m just going to go over some of the spiritual analogies that popped in my head as I was reading them.  No…I’m not going to go over all 29, just the ones I had to most fun with or the ones that challenged me.


3.mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior,judgment, etc.
This challenged me.  I don’t always feel mentally and emotionally balanced.  I’m beginning to learn that God is the one who provides that balance as I surrender my thoughts and emotions to Him!
6.the remainder or rest:
Sometimes, okay most times, I forget to ask for help.  Okay Okay…I feel rude if I ask for help.  I know its crazy, but for whatever reason…I feel rude if I need to ask for help.  But the truth is…I was created to ask for help.  I was designed to need help.  Help from God and my fellow humans…but just bc I am aware of this doesn’t mean it’s fixed…it’s like chiseling a marble statue, TIME, LOTS OF TIME (Lysa Terkurst, Unglued).
7.the power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one’s strength,influence, support, or the like, to one side or the other.
This one was cool.  I think its a great attempt to explain having faith and believing in God.  He is that balance, the factor, the one thing, that can change the outcome of ANYTHING. AWESOME. I just need to remember that ALL. THE. TIME.
21.  Accounting.
  1. to settle by paying what remains due on an account; equalize or adjust.

This is a different way of looking at what Jesus did on the cross.  Humanity, us, we, me…had a debt that I could not pay on the account of my life.  And Jesus paid it ALL! estimate the relative weight or importance of; compare:

to balance all the probabilities of a situation.
This reminds me that I need to let God be the balance of my thoughts and emotions.  I need to allow Him to determine the value of the thoughts, emotions, situations, or opinions, coming into my world.

29.Dance. to move forward and backward or in opposite directions.

I really love this one on so many levels.  I love to dance.  I did’t get to dance at my wedding.  But Jesus loves it when I dance with Him.  So the dance steps that we take in life moving toward God and sometimes moving away from Him…The beauty is when we surrender to His leading the dance is beautiful. We can dance with our words, our actions, our demeanor, and our hearts.  We can fight for control and lead the dance, but that will just result in confusion, toes being stepped on, and well not something people want to emulate.  BUT, when we surrender all that we have and all that we are…It’s beautiful.  And everyone wants to have that beauty, grace, strength, elegance, and poise.

So this word balance…I’m still working it out in my life.  I’m still learning how, when, and what kind of balance needs to be where…
How is your balance?

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